A place for my thoughts and ideas, my creative outlet, a little piece of the web for me to call my own...yeah...right...
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| a bite of chocolat... ::home:: A place for my thoughts and ideas, my creative outlet, a little piece of the web for me to call my own...yeah...right... |
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Monday, October 17, 2005 Girl, Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen In the late 1960’s, Susanna Kaysen was 18, had barely graduated from high school, and once had had her stomach pumped after swallowing 50 aspirin in a suicide attempt. What had led her down this path? Nothing in particular. She termed it “an inspiration.” (Pg 17) A few years later, Kaysen was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder – an ailment difficult to pin down and define, as many psychological disorders are. “It’s what they call people whose lifestyles bother them,” (Pg 151) one of her psychiatrists once said. Quoted in the memoir is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It describes borderline personality disorder as “a pervasive pattern of instability of self-image, interpersonal relationships, and mood, beginning in early adulthood… A marked and persistent identity disturbance…manifested by uncertainty about several life-issues, such as self-image, sexual orientation, long-term goals or career choice, types of friends or lovers to have, and which values to adopt.” (Pg 147) Kaysen commented, “Isn’t this a good description of adolescence?” (Pg 152) There are, however, some slightly less “normal” elements pointed out in the Manual’s description: “…difficulty tolerating being alone…will make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment…inappropriately intense anger with frequent displays of temper or recurrent physical fights. They tend to be impulsive, particularly in activities that are potentially self-damaging, such as shopping sprees, psychoactive substance abuse, reckless driving, casual sex, shoplifting, and binge eating. Recurrent suicidal threats, gestures, or behavior and other self-mutilating behavior (e.g., wrist-scratching) are common in the more severe forms of the disorder. This behavior may serve to manipulate others, may be a result of intense anger, or may counteract feelings of ‘numbness’ and depersonalization that arise during periods of extreme stress…” (Pg 147-148) Even with these more unusual behaviors in mind, I can’t help but sense a fundamental normalcy in both this description, and in Susanna Kaysen as portrayed in her memoir. We all struggle with relationships, we all have mood swings (sometimes violent ones), we all worry about the direction in which our life is heading, we all act out some form of self-destructive behavior, and, I would venture to say, we all have contemplated (or will contemplate) suicide at least once. If this seems an inaccurate statement, simply make note of the estimated number of Americans who attempt suicide each year: 765,000 (American Academy of Suicidology). (The number of those that succeed, as we have come to call it, is around 30,600.) Perhaps this act of total self-destruction is more “normal” than we allow ourselves to think, and perhaps it is not inherently wrong. One has to define the purpose and significance of life – a vague, subjective, and personal venture – before one is able to judge the choice to end it. The Manual’s description of borderline personality disorder seems universal, as many descriptions of mental disorders do, and this may be because it is merely a “set of guidelines, a generalization.” (Pg 150) Or it may be something else. The description went on to say, under the heading of Impairment: “Often there is considerable interference with social or occupational functioning.” Of course, this is based on our (the “normal” majority’s) definition as to what constitutes “normal” social or occupational functioning. What makes our definition right and theirs wrong? I am not postulating that there are no mental disorders, but that because a large number of them are defined (partially) by an inability to function under our definition of “normal,” their problem may lie in their environment moreso than within themselves. We, as a culture, deny our imperfections and rely on our more obviously unusual peers to act as scapegoats – to free us to point to them and not ourselves. She is crazy, and I am unlike her, we comfort ourselves. Therefore, I am not crazy. Are we sane by comparison? Sane on average? If history has taught me anything, it is that just because a majority exists does not mean that it is fundamentally right... posted by Shannon | 11:30 PM |
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