A place for my thoughts and ideas, my creative outlet, a little piece of the web for me to call my own...yeah...right...
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| a bite of chocolat... ::home:: A place for my thoughts and ideas, my creative outlet, a little piece of the web for me to call my own...yeah...right... |
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004 I'm really going insane... I don't really know where to begin... I, well, long before school ended for the summer, I had envisioned a wonderful, carefree, friend-filled, teenage summer, full of the kind of things parents would not want to hear about... just good, happy, fun... I hate to sound all whiney and pity-me, but lately, all usual stress aside, I've had quite a few bombshells dropped on me... and my head is sort of spinning... My father, who was recently laid off for over a year when the economy was real sour, had a wonderful thing going for him. He had finally landed a great job (SVP) and received a promotion (COO) after a few months. Just recently he was set up to be fired on false grounds of sexual harassment. Yeah, we don't understand why either, except that his boss was a bipolar control freak and maybe didn't want to share his power... My mother is also currently unemployed. She was laid off when her company, Gamewell, was bought out by Honeywell and moved to Connecticut, at the same time my dad was laid off. Luckily he had landed that job, so she enrolled in nursing school to change the direction of her life. She wanted to feel useful again, to have a rewarding career. Now she feels guilty about the expense, and she really doesn't need more reasons to be unhappy... Speaking of expenses, I'll be going to $college$ in a year... My mother was looking forward to finally taking my dad on vacation to Maine during his week off before I go back to school... Now there's no chance of that happening... My mom's anxiety and insomnia are getting worse again, so she's hoping to get back on Prozak before our health insurance runs out... My mom also recently found out her blood sugar was unusually high, could be nothing, but worse case scenario would be adult onset diabetes... yet another expense and a major detriment to her quality of life, being the chocolate lover that she is... My cat might have tapeworm... I won't be able to pay for car insurance when I get my license in December, so I may not be able to drive... I don't really know how that all works, but I sort of don't want to find out... Another recent stress, a good friend of mine has confided in me his serious interest in joining the priesthood. Now, he's very well educated in the area and very enthusiastic about his religion, and I cannot think of a man who would make a better priest, but the idea frightens me. With all the recent turmoil around the Roman Catholic Church, I would not recommend to anyone, under any circumstances, to become a priest. True, it would do the church well to get such a truly compassionate, caring, devout follower to help them polish up their tainted reputation, but I have known this guy for many years, before he was such a fanatic, and have understood him to be quite the family man. I could not believe it when he told me that he was thinking about giving up his chance to have a family of his own to become a celibate priest. He wants to make this sacrifice for the greater good of his religion, which is an honorable choice, I suppose... I just don't agree with most of his, in my opinion, somewhat closed-minded beliefs, and I wish he wouldn't be proliferating those ideas... He was learning Spanish and Italian so that he could raise his children at least bilingual, if not trilingual. He sings, he wanted to learn ballroom dancing and the tango. He could have a big, happy, Italian family. What upset me the most was the idea of celibacy. I know that I could not be happy without at least the faint glimmer of hope that I won't simply grow into an old lonely spinster. It was just the thought of bringing one less happy family into this world... There are already far too few, and I do believe that if anyone could succeed in creating one of those truly happy families, if they exist, it would be him... I find myself in tears too often this summer... posted by Shannon | 2:25 AM |
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