A place for my thoughts and ideas, my creative outlet, a little piece of the web for me to call my own...yeah...right...
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| a bite of chocolat... ::home:: A place for my thoughts and ideas, my creative outlet, a little piece of the web for me to call my own...yeah...right... |
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Monday, December 31, 2001 *sigh* Well, I was happy a few days ago...some of my guy friends called me and my friend to go to the movies with them. Surprising after my giant rant about that never happening...one might suspect they've read it, but I haven't told any of them about this site yet... So anyway, we were gonna see Oceans Eleven and then see Another Teen Movie after it, but the former was sold out...so we saw Lord of the Rings, very good movie, but the guys had already seen it, oh well. Well, I said was happy...the very next day I find out the friend that i was bitching about [on december 24th] had some kind of little party/get together...and I wasn't invited...in fact, she just came online while I'm typing this, and didn't mention a thing...actually, all that didn't really piss me off, because it wasn't like a huge party or anything... But what really upset me, it wasn't a big deal, it just triggered surpressed angers towards a certain person...See, I've got this friend, and he's usually a relatively nice person, but we have a strange history...and thats all I'll say...but what really annoys me about him is he forms snap judgements and is very stuborn to change them. He thinks he knows me so well, and he really doesn't...when we met three years ago, I was relatively shy and all I really wanted was for the other girls in school to like me. I didn't know who I was yet, and I felt like because I'm a girl, I should be like all the other girls. So I assymilated myself with all the other stereotypical, average, suburban girls...and this is when I met him, when I was still figuring out who I was. About a half a year after that, I started to realize that that wasn't who I wanted to be. I had been conforming to the norm because I wasn't brave enough to be myself yet. Now, about two and a half years since then, I know who I am, and I'm not afraid to be myself. But he can't seem to understand that I've changed so much. Anytime I do something that he doesn't expect me to do, he thinks I'm just trying to look cool, or posing, or not being myself. But the truth is, I am being myself. He just doesn't understand... And another thing about me, I have seriously wacked up emotions. I can be off the charts happy and suddenly be triggered into a state of deep depression. So I wish, sometimes, that I never met him, but at the same time, if he were to dissapear tomorrow...I don't know what I'd do... posted by Shannon | 6:08 PM |
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